BDELYCLEON. Very well then, since you find so much pleasure in it, go down there no more, but stay here and deal out justice to your slaves.
PHILOCLEON. But what is there to judge? Are you mad?
BDELYCLEON. Everything as in a tribunal. If a servant opens a door secretly, you inflict upon him a simple fine; 'tis what you have repeatedly done down there. Everything can be arranged to suit you. If it is warm in the morning, you can judge in the sunlight; if it is snowing, then seated at your fire; if it rains, you go indoors; and if you only rise at noon, there will be no Thesmothetes[82] to exclude you from the precincts.
PHILOCLEON. The notion pleases me.
BDELYCLEON. Moreover, if a pleader is long-winded, you will not be fasting and chafing and seeking vengeance on the accused.
PHILOCLEON. But could I judge as well with my mouth full?
BDELYCLEON. Much better. Is it not said, that the dicasts, when deceived by lying witnesses, have need to ruminate well in order to arrive at the truth?
PHILOCLEON. Well said, but you have not told me yet who will pay salary.
[82] i.e. a legislator. The name given in Athens to the last six of the nine Archons, because it was their special duty to see the laws respected.